Marriage, Cohabitation, and Parenthood

Nowadays it appears that people are opting out of a traditional life of marriage and opting into a lifestyle that may not be what society expects, like cohabitation or choosing to be a single mother. The rise of cohabitation, as suggested in Le Bourdais’ article, implies that marriage no longer meets the requirements of the post-modern family. Universally rising cohabitation rates show us that change is occurring.

In this week’s reading Hochschild presents us with an advertisement of a male requesting a woman to come in and take on the wife role but be paid for it. Therefore he is exempted from having any emotional attachment. My first reaction to the article was “this is not serious, and that there is someone who is laughing at all the women who are applying.” My next reaction was, if this is true than this man is removing a great deal from his life by eliminating the emotion of having a partner and it is very depersonalized. To me it was sad that this is how far society has come. Hochschild raises a good point that “capitalism isn’t competing with itself, but with the family, and particularly with the role of the wife and mother.” (37) Women go out and hire people to do “wifely chores” in order to alleviate the burden of household mundane duties so that they can focus on their day jobs, by doing so the family is becoming more minimal.

Perception of ideal families, marriages, and ways of raising children are encoded in specific societal beliefs, and deviation from those expectations can severely affect peoples lives. Becoming a single mother by choice is increasingly common now, especially with celebrities, but there is still a stigma attached to it. Traditional marriage seems to be the predominant social norm, but with all these new ways of finding a partner and starting a family, should it be?

1. Do you think there are advantages to cohabitation before marriage? Could it lead the couple to a comfortable life living together and defer from the aspect of marriage?

2. Do you think single mothers by choice are being selfish by bringing children into the world without a father? Is a father required in a child’s life? What are the benefits of a traditional two parent household?

3. Do you think it is harder for a child to be born to a lesbian or gay couple or to be born with a heterosexual parent who comes out during the child’s life? Why? What do you think are the long-term effects for these children?