Families Structures and Bonds

I am really sorry, I am just posting this now but I had left it as a comment last week and not a post because the only computer I had access to would not let me create a new post.



I found the topic of this week to be quite interesting as it made me consider many things about families and the dynamics of families that I had not yet thought about. For example, in the article by Amato which discussed the impact divorce has on those involved. I knew that a divorce of course had an impact on everyone implicated with the marriage that is dissolving but I did not think that the effects on the children were so devastating. I also, did not think that having one’s parents divorce would lead you to marrying at a younger age. Quite to the contrary, I find that friends I have whose parents went through a divorce are less likely to get married, view marriage negatively and if they do get married do so later in life then my friends whose parents did not divorce. The Risman article also discussed divorce. The part of this article that I found to be intriguing was that it reported that those who had gone through a divorce were more likely to be depressed, unhappy and abuse alcohol. I could see how this could be the case right after the divorce has taken place but I would have thought that many people would have felt happy not depressed after a divorce because they had left a situation that they were unhappy with and now had the opportunity to “restart” their lives. Perhaps, it is the unknown in their lives that causes this depression as they were probably use to a daily routine when married that no longer exists and this might be intimidating for them. However, I still think that for the person who chooses to have the divorce if it is not a mutual choice would feel enthusiastic about what is going to come next in their lives.

I also enjoyed the article by Furstenberg which examined how children are staying in their family’s homes years longer then they would have in the past. I agree that one of these reasons is because we now have to stay longer in school in order to get a decent job. However, I think that moving out of one’s parent’s home is a step that if at all possible should be taken in your early twenties or earlier because it teaches you the true meaning of being independent and it is through this process that you learn life lessons that will serve you throughout the rest of your life. Perhaps, I think this because I moved out of my home just shy of my eighteenth birthday and all of my brothers also moved out around that age as well. Also, my parents moved out of their parent’s homes at a very young age so this is the norm in my family. I always knew I would have to move away in order to pursue my education so for me it was an expected occurrence in my life. I have friends though that would never dream of moving out of their parent’s homes until they marry because that is the norm in their family. I guess, the point I am trying to make is that the effect of divorce, the choice to move out or continue living with your family is largely dependent on the specific situation you are in and your family’s opinions, practices and norms.



1)Does your experience or experiences of those you know whose parents divorced concur with the feelings and emotions discussed by both Risman and Amato? How where they similar or different? Do you think the divorce will influence your or your friend’s relationships in the future?

2) What do you consider to be an adult? How does one in your opinion know when one has become an adult?

3)Do you think having children stay longer in one’s household is a positive or a negative thing for the child in question? What about for the parents? What if the person is working and not going to school?

Family Structures and Bonds

After reading the Furstenberg article, I immediately thought of one of the New York Times Magazine’s most popular articles from the year, “What is it About 20-Somethings?” (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&adxnnlx=1282676491-3hvq0XR8G6jRKOF07o4s+w). The article explores the question of “why it is taking so long for 20-somethings to grow up” through considerations from developmental psychology to legal definitions of “adult”. When it came out the article was sent to me by a good number of my parent’s friends who still ask at every meeting if I “know what I want to do with myself”, as well as posted on numerous friend’s facebook walls and blogs as a sort of badge of honor- a way of saying, yes, I am one of these people that society does not appreciate. However, very few of my friends who are from the baby boomer generation have stayed at one job their entire life, or even remained in one field. While reading the articles from this week, I couldn’t help but wonder: is changing careers, partners, and many other parts of our life the norm? Even in the life course article the writers acknowledge that marriages are not static, so should we embrace values of stability in all areas of our life so sincerely? Certainly there are advantages reported on for stability, but as with many phenomena discussed in the readings and in class, I wonder how much of the anxiety and negative circumstances produced come from the discrepancy between societal expectations and reality.

Questions
1. What circumstances could affect the acceptance of children moving back home? ie. location, family socioeconomic status, job market competition. Will an increase in young adults returning home change societal values, and is there a difference between children moving home and children being supported by their parents but living elsewhere?

2. If minority groups tend to have closer family and intergenerational ties, will the life course change as drastically?

3. What different challenges do single fathers face than single mothers?

Week 6: Family Structures and Bonds

Week 6

After reading one of the Furstenberg et al article on the lengthening path to adulthood, I tried to come up with my own definition of adulthood. Although I am over the age of 21 and live away from home, I do not identify with the word “adult”. Perhaps the main reason is because I am still a student and possibly will be for another 2 to 3 years, especially since I am applying to graduate schools now. Would I be able to categorize myself as an adult after a complete education? Possibly. If I had a stable job and was able to become financially independent? I guess I am one of the 97% of people who answered that complete education and financial independence as being important factors to be considered as an adult. I agree with the claims that Furstenberg et al make in their article that there is a prolonged path to adulthood. As time passed, societies have given individuals even more freedom to do what they want while expecting us to meet all the demands and expectations that they have on the individuals. In order to survive individuals have to adjust and invest in more skills to achieve adulthood. This could and has greatly changed the structures of the family dynamics and the working-age population.

With regards to the Risman article, I agree that single dads are just as capable of taking care of their children as much as the mothers. In the cases of divorce, custody should be given to the parent that are more eligible and better at parenting-it should not be simply based on the society’s perceived notions on gender roles. The environment in which a child is raised up in should be taken into consideration rather than to judge the way one raises their own child(ren).

I also enjoyed reading the Bengston article. Families are not declining in importance in the American society but, rather, they are become even more diversified than it has ever been. If the parents are not able to provide care and support their children, the multigenerational bonds, that Bengston mentions, can take over and provide these types of care and love. This transitional period may bring confusion and anxiety but in the long run, it will be beneficial not just to the family members that are directly involved but the society as a whole.

Q1) With this lengthening path to adulthood, could there be a change, at the societal level, on the view of family and gender roles that are found within the domestic sphere?

Q2) In the modern society, do you think that the meeting of societal demands of investing in oneself plays a larger role in delaying marriage and having a family or is it the uncertainty of family life that one may have?

Q3) What are some policies that could be implemented to ease the way to adulthood for those who are not able to readily invest in themselves? By implementing policies, do you believe it will alleviate the anxieties that some individuals have with their uncertainty of family life and marriage?

Family Structures and Bonds

I really enjoyed the article on grandparent/grandchildren vacations.  This is an experience that I have personally, through my son, experienced.  The articles this week all stressed the importance of parent-child relations.  Although, as Bengston recognizes, multigenerational bonds vary in quality, the presence or ability of contact between family members increases the depth of many parent-child relationships.  It is also very interesting that parents experience decreases in marriage quality following the birth of a child (I seem to remember this relationship being ambiguous in the past) because it is revealing that children might actually have a negative impact on adult intimate relations.  If this is in fact the case, it would seem that decreasing birth rates might actually promote better family relations (if families consisting of two spouses are indeed families).  The article by Furstenberg supports my opinion that multigenerational families create a greater potential support system for children (mediated largely by parental permissiveness or openness to grandparent involvement). 

The Amato article was correct, I believe, in drawing attention to the differences in motivation, timing, and execution of marital dissolution, and the multitude of varied effects on adult children and divorced individuals.  I tend to dismiss the accuracy of selection theories with regards to marital dissolution, primarily because I believe there are too many low-functioning or socially problematic individuals retained in marriages to fully support this hypothesis, and accept the theory when applied to children as influencing factors in marriage break-up.  It is unclear to me how genetics predisposes one to divorce; to what degree is genetics compounded with other factors?  On this note, I relate the following three questions:

1.       1.  Considering the Furstenberg article, even in the presence of parent-adult child tension, do you believe that increases in multigenerational involvement/cohabitation is positive for children in that it encourages efforts to improve familial communication and  cooperation?  Can we expect the increases in multigenerational households to affect the interpersonal skills of the children raised therein?

2.     2.  What are your thoughts regarding the structuralist/individualist theoretical debate surrounding single fatherhood?  Are personalities, even those relating to gender, adaptable to situational demands or does single fatherhood draw greater societal appraisal than single motherhood; specifically, are there fewer negative connotations associated with the former?

3.     3.  Finally, if children are choosing to remain in or return to a childhood home during adulthood, and this habit is becoming more socially accepted, will the age of exodus increase beyond the twenties?  Is it possible that, as an alternative to relocating out of the parents’ home, more children will choose instead to invite a partner into the parents’ home?  Considering that multigenerational households are the norm in many non-Western countries, are Canada and the United States moving towards this reality?

Family Structures and Bonds

The family is more than a man and a woman married with children (preferably a boy and a girl but more seem a blessing) and a dog living in a nice house with a front yard. The “ideal” nuclear family that has been portrayed in the media and that is culturally “accepted” has (fortunately, in my belief) been challenged. Family structures have been transformed in recent years and gender roles are also changing (although slower). In the readings of this session we are reminded of these transformations. As sociologists, it is important to go beyond the assumptions of the nuclear family. Vern Bengston (2001) alerts the importance of multigenerational bonds, Barbara Risman (1986) shows that fathers are competent as primary parents; Amato (2000) reviews the literature on the impacts of divorce for adults and children and shows that individuals react differently depending on protective factors, adjustment reactions and other stressors; Umberson and colleages (2005) use a life course perspective to show how marital quality is dynamic; and Fustenberg and colleages (2004) write about the changing definitions of the transition to adulthood. Do you think that at some point the news of a stay home dad (like the one we saw in the video) will end to be a news of a “rare” event?

One of the issues that I have stressed in the discussions of previous sessions is the relationship between selection and causation. Amato (2000) and Umberson and colleagues (2005) do a good job (from my point of view) delineating the blurry boundaries between these concepts and explaining when one seems to weigh more than the other. The readings also point out to the need of appropriate data to study family dynamics and in this sense, we need not only longitudinal data, but data designed to capture the complex and changing family patterns. As researchers, how do wwe deal with data gathering and use of limited data available? How can we contribute to those in charge of gathering the data to have better empirical research?

QUESTIONS:
1. From Amato’s findings and perspective of the divorce process, how do you think that policy could be designed to make this process less stressful? For example, do you think that it should be considered a public health problem and policies including broader access to therapists and mental health providers should be considered? Would social programs providing cash or other economic resources be useful? If fathers can “mother”, how should custodial decisions be taken? Would you think adoption regulations should be reviewed to include single fathers?
2. If transition to adulthood seems to be segmented by class, then what are the implications and consequences of this? What is the relationship between poverty, intergenerational mobility, family structures and different trajectories of transition to adulthood? Fustenberg and colleagues mention the role of the economy and education in delaying marriage and parenthood. How do you think the findings of the readings differ by class and cross-nationally?
3. How are family structures transformed due to migration and mobility? How are the bonds of immigrant families affected by structures that are not nuclear?

Family Structures and Bonds

This week we look at family structures and bonds, from a wide range of perspectives. We see how the life course effects marital quality, if single fathers can mother, why growing up is hard to do, how grandparents are parenting, as well as consequences for divorce on both parents and children. Although it seems that we are reading about a wide array of topics, all have one thing in common, in that they discuss the relationships within the family, and how they effect its members.

Within the first few weeks of this class, the question “Does divorce beget divorce?” was proposed. Without the literature on the subject, it was unclear what the answer was, but according to the literature, it does. Although not addressed in Amato’s The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children, he had released a previous article entitled Explaining the Intergenerational Trend of Divorce (found on JSTOR if anyone is interested). It turns out, that children of divorced parents have an increased 70% chance of divorce within the first five years of marriage compared with those whose parents did not divorce, with the risk increasing if both partners experienced a parental divorce (Amato, 628 and 634). Interestingly, Amato found that children of divorced parents tend to marry earlier than most (due to many factors such as emotional neediness, wanting to get out of a household with stepparents, or economic hardships living with a single mother) and says that early age at the time of marriage is a great predictor of divorce (Amato, 629). As well, divorce can act as a barrier to the development of traits and interpersonal orientations that hinder intimate relations. For example, children of divorced parents do not have a model for successful marriage; therefore they do not know what a successful dyadic relationship is like. More importantly, experiencing a divorce can also lead to developing traits such as lack of trust, jealousy issues and inability to commit, that stem from emotional insecurity, which serve to strain a marital relationship (Amato, 631).

In this week’s reading’s we come across the question, Do you consider yourself an adult? This question is difficult to answer, as adulthood no longer begins when adolescence ends. This is reiterated in the article Growing Up is Harder to Do where children are depicted as stalling the beginning of adult life in order to gain a better education or until they can establish an independent household. These trends continue and are existent within a Canadian framework. By examining a Statistics Canada article entitled Parents with Adult children living at Home, written by Martin Turcotte, we are introduced to the boomerang generation and its effect in Canadian households. The boomerang generation are young adults who choose to live with their parents after a brief period of living on their own. According to the 2001 Canadian General Social Survey, in 2001 57% of young men and women aged 20 to 24 were living with their parents; in 1981, the proportion was only 41%. (Turcotte, 2) This is only a twenty-year difference, but it is a large increase. What exactly are the reasons for this increase? The survey indicates that parents who were living in urban cities like Vancouver, Toronto and Ottawa were most likely to have an adult child living at home. Some of the explanations for this increase are due to the high cost of living in large cities and increased probability of postsecondary schools in large cities.

Although having an adult child live at home can be seen as a method of maintaining family ties, there are also consequences associated with it. In As Good as It Gets: A Life Course Perspective on Marital Equality, we learn that marital quality diminishes following the birth of the couple’s first child and doesn’t begin to improve until the children leave the parental home, with the lowest marital quality reached when kids are in their teens. The rationale behind this stems from the fact that children impose additional household and childcare duties and interfere with both the quantity and quality time that the couple is able to spend together. Although it is unclear in the life course article that the adult child is in fact a boomerang child (rather than an adult child who has just never moved out), “living with adult children may impose some strain on parents’ marriage or that living with adult children interferes with positive interactions between parents. (Umberson, 502) Canadian literature provides the same results in regards martial quality being lower when adult children are in the home, because the departure of an adult child lowers the level of conflict that often accompanies the arrival of a child in the marriage. This stage in the life course is also said to provide parents with the satisfaction of having successfully completed the responsibility of childrearing. So, when the adult children delay their departure from home, it is possible that the frequency of conflict within couples remains higher a little longer. Although the Canadian General Social Survey used loaded questions to ask parents living with adult children if they strongly agree, agree, disagree or strongly disagree such as, “I am often frustrated because my children take so much of my time,” (Turcotte, 6) the trends seems to follow the same pattern as the American results.

Although on a vast array of topics, all of this weeks readings touch upon the relationships formed within the family, and the consequences and reactions that stem from them. As the family adjusts to the modern world, new trends become evident. Our parents’ generation became adults when they graduated high school, and were raised primarily by their two heterosexual parents. It is evident through the reading material that these norms have evolved to create a new modern family, where grandparent’s parent, dad’s mother, and children never grow up. Through this week’s topic, we get to explore these changing trends and ideas.

Now for fun, take a look at this piece on “Yuckies” and “Babygloomers” http://schott.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/01/yuckies/?scp=2&sq=boomerang kids&st=cse

Here is another article, a Canadian look at the Boomerang Generation (us and our peers):

http://www.canada.com/life/Part+They+have+boomeranged+failed+launch+call+them+dysfunctional/3608275/story.html

Another way of looking at the multi-generational bonds is a surprising new travel trend written about in the Globe and Mail: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/travel/have-grandparents-will-travel/article1768519/

And although not a single Dad, here is a video of a stay-at-home dad “mothering”:

http://www.canada.com/news/family-portraits/Video+Family+portrait/3612171/story.html?tab=VID

(Don’t worry; all the links are really short!)

We look forward to reading your responses! Please label your posts Family Structures and Bonds.