I am really sorry, I am just posting this now but I had left it as a comment last week and not a post because the only computer I had access to would not let me create a new post.
I found the topic of this week to be quite interesting as it made me consider many things about families and the dynamics of families that I had not yet thought about. For example, in the article by Amato which discussed the impact divorce has on those involved. I knew that a divorce of course had an impact on everyone implicated with the marriage that is dissolving but I did not think that the effects on the children were so devastating. I also, did not think that having one’s parents divorce would lead you to marrying at a younger age. Quite to the contrary, I find that friends I have whose parents went through a divorce are less likely to get married, view marriage negatively and if they do get married do so later in life then my friends whose parents did not divorce. The Risman article also discussed divorce. The part of this article that I found to be intriguing was that it reported that those who had gone through a divorce were more likely to be depressed, unhappy and abuse alcohol. I could see how this could be the case right after the divorce has taken place but I would have thought that many people would have felt happy not depressed after a divorce because they had left a situation that they were unhappy with and now had the opportunity to “restart” their lives. Perhaps, it is the unknown in their lives that causes this depression as they were probably use to a daily routine when married that no longer exists and this might be intimidating for them. However, I still think that for the person who chooses to have the divorce if it is not a mutual choice would feel enthusiastic about what is going to come next in their lives.
I also enjoyed the article by Furstenberg which examined how children are staying in their family’s homes years longer then they would have in the past. I agree that one of these reasons is because we now have to stay longer in school in order to get a decent job. However, I think that moving out of one’s parent’s home is a step that if at all possible should be taken in your early twenties or earlier because it teaches you the true meaning of being independent and it is through this process that you learn life lessons that will serve you throughout the rest of your life. Perhaps, I think this because I moved out of my home just shy of my eighteenth birthday and all of my brothers also moved out around that age as well. Also, my parents moved out of their parent’s homes at a very young age so this is the norm in my family. I always knew I would have to move away in order to pursue my education so for me it was an expected occurrence in my life. I have friends though that would never dream of moving out of their parent’s homes until they marry because that is the norm in their family. I guess, the point I am trying to make is that the effect of divorce, the choice to move out or continue living with your family is largely dependent on the specific situation you are in and your family’s opinions, practices and norms.
1)Does your experience or experiences of those you know whose parents divorced concur with the feelings and emotions discussed by both Risman and Amato? How where they similar or different? Do you think the divorce will influence your or your friend’s relationships in the future?
2) What do you consider to be an adult? How does one in your opinion know when one has become an adult?
3)Do you think having children stay longer in one’s household is a positive or a negative thing for the child in question? What about for the parents? What if the person is working and not going to school?
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