Topics and Issues Within the Family: Children

The readings for this week examined the role of children in the family and the various relationships they have with their parents and siblings. In the article by Orellana et al. there were three types of immigrant families discussed. When reading about these, I kept thinking to myself that I could not imagine how hard it must be for a family to be separated from their children in order to provide them with a better life. However, I think that something that was lacking in this article was that it did not discuss how brave these children who leave their families are and the pressure they must feel to succeed. My cousin worked at an all-girl private school in Ontario where the majority of the students were international students who boarded at the high school. They were “parachute children” mostly from Asia but also Venezuela because of its political instability at the time. For the most part their mother’s would escort them to the school at the beginning of the school year and stay for a month in order to help with the transition process. The girls took their studies very seriously because their parents expected them to be accepted into universities in the United States and expected them in the future to have well-paying careers. The pressure for these girls to succeed was immense and anxiety inducing. Especially, because at first they were not used to the Ontario school system, their English was not up to par and they therefore struggled academically. They were terrified when their first report cards were sent home because they knew their parents would not be pleased. I cannot imagine being a thirteen, fourteen, or fifteen year old sent to a foreign country with that much pressure to succeed academically. I wonder if these students will one day resent this pressure and or the success rate of these students getting accepted into prestigious universities.

The Hochschild article discussed eavesdropping by children on their parents and what they learn through this activity. Eavesdropping is something we all do whether we admit it or not but I had not thought about what children learn through this activity. Also, that the main reason that they do eavesdrop is to learn, “their own place in their parent’s world” (Hochschild, p. 173).I am not quite sure if I agree with this statement because I thought it was because children were curious by nature that they eavesdropped on other people’s conversation. I mean, they eavesdrop on conversations that have nothing to do with them or their relationships with their parents. I do believe that it is through this process that children learn about their world, the roles people play in their lives and societal values not just to learn about their roles in their parents’ lives or to learn more about their relationship with their parents.

1. Do you think the relationship between a child and their parents change significantly if they are sent to study abroad by themselves? How do you think this may also affect the relationship between the parents?

2. All children eavesdrop, do you think this can be harmful for the child in certain situations such as if a child had just immigrated or a parent has left the family in order to earn a living elsewhere?

3. In your opinion would a family in which one parent immigrated to another country in order to better provide for their family would this family still be considered a nuclear family? What if a child leaves to study abroad? Is this still a nuclear family?