Household Labor

Around these times of the holidays, thoughts of presents and wrapping paper fill the air. But what about “giving” in another sense? What about the daily gifts of gratitude and appreciation? The articles this week focus on the exchange of the concrete gift of household labor juxtaposed by the intangible gift of emotional and caring attitudes. Risman et al., Hook and Coltrane examine the fluid definition of equal sharing of household needs. All three studies claimed to find families in which the relationship between the spouses was supposedly either gender-neutral or who relied on “equal sharing” of tasks. However, it would seem that each study places the father’s role in terms of his ability to “play mother,” to take on the role of the female in place of his father identity. One woman even laments that “nobody really understood that Jennifer had two mothers” (Coltrane, 476). In placing the role of the father in terms of the mother, fathers received extra credit, extra ‘gratitude,’ when they stepped outside their perceived, socially constructed role of father. Even as fathers took on the “mother role,” women still laid claim over the household, maintaining a manager-helper relationship. Yet, despite this increase of father involvement, Hochschild points to a “lag time” between women’s advancement in the public sphere and husband’s lack of household help and emotional support.

As women increasingly break the gender-proof “glass ceiling,” new studies look at the effect of women’s employment on family stability. As 25-year longitudinal study found that women who earned at least 60% of the family’s income were 38% more likely to get divorced in any year, with no regard to their socio-economic position (http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/women_divorce_cur_SfyEHTdYT8khsy625mbJOL). As Hochschild explains in her essay, “Economy of Gratitude,” social and individual expectations of the role of the father as provider often lead to strain and distress within the family structure. Further strain is created by the multiple tensions arising around the ideal spousal arrangement between what both partners envision, the reality and their expectations, what Hochschild calls the “gratitude clash.” This “clash” can be seen in recent articles, such as http://www.huffingtonpost.com/juliette-frette/gender-equality-and-the-d_b_561724.html. Even popular media continues to perpetuate the separation of gendered spheres – just look at the Simpsons, Family Guy, or Everybody Loves Raymond. As women gain acceptance in the public sphere, miles ahead of their mother’s generation, the closing of the lag time gap will hopefully see the emergence of fathers placed in their own terms and roles bringing with it the possibility of a truly gender neutral relationship. Until then, maybe there’s hope - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raqNEIUVarI.