Household Labor

When someone gives the gift of performing housework, it is normally interpreted as the worst gift any woman can receive. To be fair, I can understand how men believe that women should be appreciative of their help if it is not what the man usually does around the house. In reality it should not be considered a gift. According to Hochschild, “74% of mothers with children 6-17 are in paid work” and they are still doing the majority of the housework so, they are working two jobs. In our readings this week, Risman et al., Hook and Coltrane examine families who are equally sharing household needs. All three of these studies tended to focus on the idea of spouses relying on equal sharing of tasks, or in other words they had created a gender-neutral household, in which not all daily chores were the responsibility of the female. In fact it seems like the readings give us a glimpse into the world where a man is showing his ability to act as a woman and for that he is receiving extra credit, because traditionally it is not his job to perform these household tasks.

In Household Labor and the Routine Production of Gender, it is clear what happens when men no longer depend on the fact that a man's masculinity is dependent on not doing the things that mothers do. Men help to take on a portion of the female role and remove themselves for their responsibilities of a traditional father’s role of begetting, protecting and providing for children. Even in this study where much of the housework is divided between both spouses, women still laid claim over the household, maintaining a manager-helper relationship. It may also be observed that when men step out of their perceived, socially constructed role of father, they are given extra gratitude. Whereas when a woman performs these tasks, they are expected of her. All these studies show that we are (slowly) moving to a world that even monkeys can understand; a world in which women should not accept anything but equality through all aspects of their lives.

1. Hochschild describes gendered gifts as flowers from a man and food from a woman, what do you think would happen if a stay at home father was brought home flowers as a gift by his wife?

2. Is it possible for couples to truly share the housework, or is there always someone in charge? Is there always one persons expectations that are required to be met?

3. What is a power-balanced couple? Is it possible to have one, or does one person always hold more power? Do you consider your family gender neutral?