Household Labor

The juxtaposition of emotions with divisions of labor left me thinking about two issues relevant to the readings: how does “love” interact with perceptions of household labor, and how do these perceptions apply to family structures outside of marriage and even beyond cohabiting couples? The former question came from a quote in the Hochschild essay. She describes one woman as stating, “If you help me at home I will feel grateful for that and love you” (115). This struck me as odd; is love reliant almost purely on this economy of gratitude? Increasingly we see couples living together before marriage (if marriage occurs at all), so is this exchange and division of labor not established before marriage? Does it change drastically with marriage (previous readings would indicate that marriages do enforce traditional gender roles more so than unconventional arrangements). Perhaps this change can be explained by an examination of life course, or more simply time. Marriages and relationships can extend for long periods of time and require constant negotiation on the part of both individuals, and understanding each others perceptions of gratitude are a part of that.

However, I wonder if this “economy of gratitude” extends just beyond couples to all kinds of familial relationships. Reading all these accounts of the divisions of labor and the integration of gender roles, I couldn’t help but think about the importance of these relations in two other kinds of relationships: roommates and larger families than parents and children living in the same house. Even though Americans and Canadians tend to hold individualism as an ideal, sharing living space is a reality for many more than just college students. A few examples we have discussed are the prevalence of children moving back home, living longer without bring married, and multiple families living in the same home to save money. From my experience living with three men for four years, I can say that most people expect I am fully responsible for cooking and cleaning, while in reality we have established a much more egalitarian division of labor based on the fact that we’re all decent human beings who care about each other. I wonder how gendered divisions of labor change for other unconventional yet prevalent family structures. In general, I feel that it is important to examine the division of labor in married couples, but equally as important to recognize that these are not the only structures in which people situate themselves, and perhaps seeing the married couple as the ideal perpetuates stigmas which harm all sorts of familial relationships.
1) Hochschild discusses that the economy of gratitude can be applied to lesbian and gay couples as well. Research on this differs, so does anyone know if “gendered” or unequal power relationships are a factor of earnings?
2) What other family structures could provide a more egalitarian division of household labor, and how can they be more institutionally recognized?
3) Is love purely a factor of the economy of gratitude?